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Seven Signs You Might Have a Takeover Spirit and How to Let Others Shine

Writer's picture: LaShawndra VernonLaShawndra Vernon

Do you often find yourself leading the charge, even when you didn't necessarily volunteer? While taking initiative is valuable, there's a fine line between being helpful and having a "takeover spirit." This tendency to dominate conversations, projects, or even social situations can stifle others' creativity, diminish their contributions, and ultimately damage relationships. If you're worried you might be unintentionally hogging the spotlight, read on for seven common signs and, more importantly, how to step back and let others shine.


1. You're Always the First to Speak (and the Last): Meetings, group projects, even casual conversations – are you consistently the first to offer an opinion and the last to weigh in? This can leave little room for others to contribute their thoughts.


2. You "Just Want to Make Sure it's Done Right" (Your Way): You might believe you have the best approach, but constantly micromanaging or redoing others' work sends the message that you don't trust their abilities. Even if you do have a better way, sometimes the learning process is more valuable than immediate perfection.


3. You Interrupt Frequently: Do you find yourself cutting people off, even unintentionally? This habit signals that your perspective is more important than theirs, and prevents them from fully expressing themselves.


4. You Offer Solutions Before Fully Understanding the Problem: Jumping in with answers before truly listening to others' concerns can make them feel unheard and dismissed. It also increases the chance that your solution won't actually address the root issue.


5. You Struggle to Delegate: Do you feel like you have to do everything yourself because "no one else can do it as well"? This not only overburdens you but also prevents others from developing their skills and taking ownership.


6. You Tend to Steer Conversations Back to Yourself: Even when others are sharing, do you find ways to relate their experiences back to your own? This can make conversations feel one-sided and leave others feeling like their stories aren't valued.


7. You Feel Threatened by Others' Success: Instead of celebrating the achievements of your colleagues or friends, do you feel a pang of jealousy or resentment? This can be a sign that you see collaboration as a competition rather than a cooperative effort.

So, What Can You Do? Learning to Step Back:

Recognizing these signs is the first step. Here are some practical strategies to cultivate a more inclusive and collaborative approach:

  • Practice Active Listening: Focus intently on what others are saying, rather than formulating your response while they're still talking. Ask clarifying questions to ensure you understand their perspective.

  • Pause Before Speaking: Train yourself to take a breath before jumping into a conversation. This allows others to chime in and prevents you from dominating the discussion.

  • Delegate and Trust: Assign tasks to others and resist the urge to micromanage. Offer support and guidance, but trust that they can handle the responsibility. This empowers them and frees up your time.

  • Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage others to share their thoughts and ideas by asking questions that can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no."

  • Celebrate Others' Successes: Acknowledge and appreciate the contributions of your colleagues and friends. Their wins are not your losses. A supportive environment benefits everyone.

  • Focus on "We" Instead of "Me": Shift your mindset from individual achievement to collective success. Recognize that collaboration leads to better outcomes for everyone involved.

  • Be Mindful of Your Body Language: Uncross your arms, make eye contact, and nod to show that you are engaged and receptive to others' ideas.


Cultivating a less dominant approach takes conscious effort and practice. Be patient with yourself, and remember that learning to share the spotlight creates a more positive and productive environment for everyone. By stepping back, you not only empower others to shine but also create space for your own growth and development.

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